A friend who had my files from my old-old laptop came over today and I got some of them. Here is something I wrote in 2005. Funny to read. I did feel restless in the PhD program and I did drop out! My writing style was pretty different at age 24, huh? Anyway, here it is:
why can’t I write a novel? am I a moron?
why do I feel restless after I’ve been in school for only one semester? ONE SEMESTER?
that isn’t very long.
let’s figure out how long it is. hm…august til December. FOUR MONTHS.
I get restless after four months apparently.
I think I got restless in my old job after about four months.
I was sort of restless in high school but that was kind of fake. I mean I skipped school a lot and was dying to not live with my parents, but aside from that life was good.
maybe this is the hindsight talking, who knows. it’s been so long I can’t remember if I felt like dying or not. who knows.
I wasn’t that restless in college. maybe I was. can’t remember that either. there were a few classes I didn’t look forward to, but I didn’t catch the SENIORITIS.
in high school everyone said WOAH JESSICA HAS MAD SENIORITIS because I was skipping class all the time. some reason I liked hearing that.
do I still have senioritis? I want to get out of this program but I’m going to jump right into another one and who’s to say that I won’t want to get out of it after four months?
if I had to place bets now I’d bet that I WILL want to get out of it after four months.
AT LEAST I’LL HAVE MY DOG.
god my dog is adorable.